Is Hell Exothermic (gives off heat) OR Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

BONUS QUESTION: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC (GIVES OFF HEAT) OR ENDOTHERMIC (ABSORBS HEAT)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

The student received the only "A".

the one & only,

MelodyAnne

my Weekend..

hello!! wat a weekend i had... saturday i was working alone the whole day, taking care of the showroom... had a customer who signed a deal with me.. a great day.. during nite time, i went for a dinner at my aunt's house for my dad's & my aunty's birthday.. great nite too.. with nice food!!! :) hehe! then i went to look for my bf.. we had a great nite together.. jus talking & listening to each other.. :)

then on sunday, i woke up as early as 7am, to go jogging & playing some basketball with my bf.. he made me workout coz he feels that im weak & unhealthy.. basically, i am! haha! so we had a battle on basketball.. he won.. of course.. haha! but i made him score 15 times of 3 points.. he made it at no sweat.. damn.. haha! though it's been a long time since he last played basketball, but he's still good at it.. :) then we each went home for a bath then out again for breakfast... then to his house for the whole day... i feel like heaven... am chatting with Michael now.. thanx to Michael, my fren who supported me & gave me courage to make the decision.. thanx a lot.. u made my life worth taking risks.. & now that im feeling on top of the sky.. i pray that one day u will too.. don worry.. i'll be by ur side whenever u need a fren to chat with..

i think my mum is having a menopause.. unpredictable mood,.. or i guess she's always behaving that way.. she likes to make everyone praise her, having attention on her, bla bla bla.. omg... sigh.. i donno wat to do.. she like to mess everyone's day up.. she's turning more & more like granma.. really photostating her rite now.. i tried to be nice.. but everytime i did something good, i feel good & proud of myself, she'll just say something that hurts so much that it makes me feel wasted of all my efforts.. the feeling of ur most adored, most loved one is pouring cold water on ur heart EVERYTIME u did something good & nice to make her happy.. now i realised that she's been that way all the while since i was young.. maybe now that she's getting worse & worse, i'm afraid i'll be like her too in the future.. sigh.. i told my bf about my mum.. he jokingly said: "will u be that way? coz ppl always say that 'like mother like daughter'" LOL.. i think in the future, all i can do is to control myself... learn from lessons of life.. i really feel bad for my dad.. having to live with my mum.. having to deserve all the bullets, hurting words, tortures.... i donno... if i was my dad, i would leave home long ago.. i couldn't stand it.. no wonder my bro keep himself to his room everyday.. as for me, i never stay at home more than 3 hours per day.. except going home to sleep.. :) well, maybe my dad & my mum have some things that they cant be apart.. i donno.. all i know is that i cant stand my mum anymore.. i donno wat to do anymore.. i go home everyday coz i wanna c my dad.. i love my dad.. not that i don love my mum.. i love her too.. jus sometimes i feel painful to love her for all the things that she rejects of me.. it's obvious on how she make me feel jealous of my bro.. sometimes she purposely buys good expensive things for my bro.. i don care.. it's not my money.. all i know is that she will spoil my bro & thinking that she's doing the rite thing for my bro.. sigh... i don care.. i wont be jealous too..

well, i guess every family has their own difficult bible to write.. but well, at least i'm still feeling great! everything about me is perfect now!! all im thinking of now is to earn more money, live a good life, be happy & think positive for everything in the world.. everything happens for a reason.. & they don need u to understand.. coz that's the great creation of God!


the one & only,
MelodyAnne

Hinder - Lips of an Angel

this song is really a nice song for me.. it's such that it is so pure & it just soothes my mood.. :-)

ENJOY!!

Hinder - Lips of an Angel

Honey why are you calling me so late?

It's kinda hard to talk right now

Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words, It makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And yes I've dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me

Will it start a fight

No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girls in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

(And I never wanna say goodbye)

But girl you make it so hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

Honey why are you calling me so late?

the one & only,

MelodyAnne

My Halloween...

feels like it's been a long time since i write.. well, i've been good.. extraordinarily feeling at the top of the world.. despite some terrible incidents last 2 days, im feeling great now...

last 2 days, had some misunderstandings with my bf, mum & some probs happening in my office.. sigh.. but all's well now..

can't believe i've been so careless about myself.. i left the pic of me & my ex in my hi5.. & my bf added me, accepted my invitation & saw the pic inside.. sms me & told me he saw the pic.. DAMN!! double damn!!! it's such a careless mistake that i could not forgive myself.. man....... wat a beginning of a day.. but then we talked it over.. he also asked me about some Qs.. bout my past.. i shouldn't have told him but then i told him still.. sometimes i really think i'm either stupid or retarded... previous night, he planned to give me a surprise.. but then i ruined it.. & it made him feel so down & cold inside for me... sigh...

can u imagine a nite, u had some bad times, u managed to cure it.. the next morning, it happens again... it's like ur heart has been splashed with cold water, u warm it up.. & few hrs later, splashed with cold water again... wow........ *speechless*

luckily, everything's settled b4 we get to our own bed...

beside some bf prob, my mum came in & mess up my day... i told her i need to take out some money from my bank to pay my hp bill.. she said that i'm crazy & asked me to change my job.. bla bla bla... now i'm doubting wat does she wan actually.. she says "we earn so hard to pay for ur studies til ur degree for u to have better future.. not for a RM300 job".. wat the?!?!?!?! HELLO!!! i tot u r happy that i work here?! in the beginning, i doubt bout this job... u said it's good for me to expose myself & gain experience.. now u're telling me this?! wat's wrong with u??? keep rushing me to change job.. so easy ar?!?!?! FUCK man!!!!

then comes my colleague.. telling me the catalogues that we did last week was in trouble.. i tot we did 7,500 pieces.. but then Pos Malaysia counted.. it's 10,000 pieces.. it's impossible.. now that we need to take back the remaining 2,500 pieces as waste paper? damn... it's really impossible...

great days i had.. is not wat i tot it was... now that everything's ok.. felt relieved.. lessons in life.. cannot end.. it must go on... have a great day!

the one & only,

MelodyAnne

Guys, be patient...

A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a leafy country lane. They walk hand in hand and, as they stroll, the young man's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when the young woman says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to have a piss".

Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits, he can hear the sound of the white panties sliding down voluptuous legs and he imagines what loveliness is being exposed.

Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, touches her smooth, bare leg. He gently brings his hand further up to her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.

He gasps in horror "My God Mary have you changed your sex?" "No" she replies "I've changed my mind - I'm having a poo instead."

Brian & his Dream

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?". The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter". Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family... you've got to send me back straight away". St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Brian "Well just relax and let it happen".

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "BRIAN, WAKE UP YOU DRUNKEN BASTARD, YOU'VE SHIT THE BED!!"